#031 - TransMormon video. (HRT Day 288)

Wednesday, April 16 2014

Not much to share really. Just wanted to share a video called TransMormon.

TransMormon
(sorry, this blog website won't let me make a real link to the video).

I love it as I also used to be a member of the Mormon church. Definitely worth a watch.
Anyways, that's all.

#030 - Ma'am'ed on the phone, boymode fail, more with HR and college. (HRT Day 276)

Friday, April 4 2014

So yeah, a whole hell of a lot has happened within the past couple of weeks and I'm super excited. Today I received my very first ma'am on the phone and it was awesome. I've been playing with my voice but I didn't think it was a passing voice (more on that later). I called the operator at work and she kept calling me ma'am. Near the end of the call she blurts out "SIR! Omg I'm so sorry!". Told her it's ok. I don't think she knows who I am and I'm not the kind if person who forces the proper pronoun issue. When it happens naturally is the best indicator of success.

Earlier in the day I got a call from the head HR guy. I'm to meet him in his office after break time. No explanation given. What knowledge I have about him, he's a very "fire & brimstone" religious guy. Alarm bells are going off in my head. I'm always on time for work, I'm diligent in my work, supervisors are always commending me, always have a positive attitude so whatever it is it's probably related to my transition.

Fearing the worst, I pulled out my smartphone, hit Record, and walked into his office for the meeting. I figured that if I'm going to be disciplined or fired for being trans, I'll have an audio recording of it plus past supervisor commendations to take to court with me in filing a discrimination suit.

The conversation was actually quite pleasant and he was looking to hammer out the details and possible accommodations for a transgender employee. To his credit, he doesn't know anything about transgender issues, but he's trying. He's turning one of the two women's warehouse bathrooms into a unisex bathroom. It's a single occupancy bathroom which also doubles as a locker room. Not exactly the solution I was looking for, but in my opinion an acceptable accommodation. Counting myself, there's only two women in the entire warehouse anyways.

I'm just glad I don't have to use the men's bathroom anymore. I've been getting a LOT of confused looks. I won't dare use the men's locker rooms.

I'm so glad I recorded the conversation for another reason, my voice. I haven't been practicing my voice much if at all. Maybe ten minutes here and there. It's something I've been beating myself up over (along with going back to the gym regularly). In fact, the only thing I've been doing is scrunching my tongue back a little (kinda like the beginnings of a yawn) and talking like that. It's harder to enunciate with my tongue unable to move as much as it's needed to form words, so I'm practicing forming words primarily with my lips. It's working out quite well to my surprise and with such little practice. The office recording is linked here:

http://soundcloud.com/jojorumbles/hr-conversation-mike-4-4-2014
(may want to turn your sound up to hear it)

I've been told on Reddit I sound like a young male teenager which is amusing. I'm almost 32 so maybe having a voice at that range might work. I was ma'amed on the phone at work with it so I'll stick with it for now.

Anyways, my boymode at work is really starting to fail. Delivery drivers who see me are asking my coworkers if I'm a "chick or a dude" because apparently they can't tell. My forearms are thinning out, my face is becoming quite feminine (pics from the last blog entry don't do it justice), I have visible boobs, my voice seems to pass yet I have a five o'clock shadow and Adam's apple.

The drivers are puzzled, coworkers who rarely ever see me are puzzled and this is me intentionally trying not to pass. I'd wear facial hair concealer and natural makeup, but I work in a hot sweaty warehouse which tends to destroy makeup. I have an electric epilator coming in the mail soon (I'm desperate). I know they're super painful and can leave irritation marks on the skin, but this laser hair removal is just taking way too long and I've yet to see any progress. I'm coming up on my sixth treatment with zero results so far. I'm going to have to purchase another 6-treatment special off of Groupon or something. Definitely with a different company.

And then there's college. I've started looking into going to school for my bachelors and  to train for medical administration. Right now I'm stuck filling out a LOT of tedious financial aid paperwork. It's slow going and may consume the entire weekend. But it'll be worth it. On top of working full time, I'll also be receiving a "living wage" through my GI Bill which I'll be saving for surgeries.

Moving on. Physically I can't hide my figure anymore. Boobs are really REALLY obvious and although I'm overjoyed that they're getting bigger, they stick out like a sore thumb. They're definitely an A cup now, though the shape doesn't exactly conform to bras. They stick out sort of like rounded road cones which I find unappealing, but I guess they'll fill out in time. They already look fantastic under a t-shirt.

I still have a lot of body mass to lose. My legs are still massively muscular which I don't know how to bring down aside from starving. Maybe a no-protean diet? I don't know. I also want my neck, upper arms and belly fat to thin out. I've been neglecting the gym and making excuses not to go. It's time to get back on that.

On a last note, I really don't like how my picture turned out in the last blog entry. There were about a dozen or so pictures taken that day and those were the best of them. I need to start practicing makeup on my own.