Thursday, January 23 2014
So I've been struggling to find something to put in this blog. I'd hate to fill it with random daily nonsense. That's boring.
But yeah, just a few days ago Monday I had my third session of laser hair removal on my face. Since then I haven't had the need to shave. Growth has slowed significantly and noticeably. I still have my doubts as the hair is still there, but the slowed growth is a good sign. I'll do a complete shave tomorrow morning as it's just barely long enough to actually shave.
Anyways, I finally got around to starting an online fundraiser to pay for various surgeries..... and I've received nothing so far. Here's the link in case anyone is interested:
http://www.gofundme.com/53z5vo
The goal is to reach $50,000 but I highly doubt I'll ever reach that, or even a third of that. Still, if I can get enough for just one surgery through this fundraiser, it would've been worth it. The fundraiser doesn't cost me anything to keep open so why not. I'm still trying to figure out how to promote my fundraiser. I tried Facebook which didn't get far. I'll ask around and see how others do theirs.
Finally I'm currently looking for a doctor, specifically an endocrinologist, to start prescription HRT. I'm currently DIY'ing which is super expensive. My health insurance covers the exact same meds as the ones I buy online. The difference is that those same meds are 100% free on my plan. I've called up Anthem and they gave me a list of all the Endo's that they cover. No word on whether they're trans friendly or not so I guess I'm going to have to call each and every one of them up and ask.
Sounds tedious and possibly aggravating, but that's the score. That's the way things seem to have to go. I'll start calling them up one by one during my lunch breaks.
And as a final thing to add, I'm stopping the progesterone cycling and instead taking one tablet (5mg) every day. Progesterone is reportedly supposed to increase breast growth, fullness and roundness. Right now I'm sitting at a little over an A cup but not quite a B. There's definitely enough mass to require a bra, but I have bras in B cup size that are a little too big. I'm thinking that maybe if I switch to taking P everyday instead of cycling it once a month, I might fill it out, maybe more.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
#023 - Chilling with old shipmates, laser fail and boring holiday. (HRT Day 187)
Sunday, January 5, 2014
So I finally got around to writing this blog entry. A lot has happened since my last entry and I hope I can remember most of it.
So lets see. I had a Skype conversation with my family back in Austin. This one was far shorter than the last conversation. They were clearly eager to get on with their celebrating and wanted to close Skype ASAP. The entire conversation lasted less than 15 minutes and most of it was camera adjusting. I felt a little hurt by their eagerness to leave.
I was also a bit hurt after learning that mom paid for my sisters plane ticket home, after paying for her college. Before she was going on about how they can't afford to buy me a ticket or offer any sort of help. Afterwards seeing parents shell out tens of thousands of dollars for my sister hurt a bit.
It's nothing new though. They've done this for all sorts of things when I was a kid. They claimed they couldn't afford to send me to the dentist and get braces, yet all other siblings received theirs soon after. When I was homeless, they claimed they're strapped for cash and couldn't do anything for me. Later discovered they bought my brother a new car because they thought his old car was ugly.
Still, it hurts.
Anyways, I finally got my second laser hair removal session completed... finally! It was delayed for almost a month because the laser broke down. The second session stung as expected. So far I haven't seen ANY hair removal results which is concerning. I've been told that I shouldn't expect to see results until the fourth or fifth treatment, but since they're a month apart it's going to take a very long time before going full time.
*edit*
Upon inspection of my stubble, it seems to be a bit spotty. It looks mostly unchanged but there are a few spots where hair is not growing. Nothing significant, but slightly noticeable. I've also been using my home laser hair removal tool after shaving. It's the Silk'n Sensiple but I'm still not convinced it works yet.
Moving on, I'm definitely starting to see physical changes. Definitely an hourglass figure is forming and looks sexy as hell. I'm not skinny but neither am I fat. I'd say a healthy plump with an hourglass figure. I may have to go full time before warm weather sets in because it's getting difficult to hide.
Boobs are still coming in, albeit slowly. They still ache, itch and are super super sensitive. Every time I move my arms I bump into them. Their shape is quite visible when I'm wearing a T-shirt. They aren't fully rounded out yet which is disappointing. Plus they're somewhere between an A and a B. I already bought a few B cup bras, but they don't quite fill out yet. Almost.
Anyways, hair is getting longer. There's so much to learn about hair care. Most important points for me is to use shampoo every other day, conditioner is my friend, and getting a small trim every few months to prevent split ends is important.
Arms are getting fairly skinny. They no longer look muscular but rather a little fat. I still have a bit of a muffin top belly which is annoying. Seems like nothing will make it go away. Legs are still pretty much as they always were. I used to do a LOT of cycling which is why they're so large. They still give me that sexy looking shape underneath jeans, but there's no way I'll be wearing skirts or shorts anytime soon. Shoulders are looking a bit less broad, but there's still significant muscle mass leftover. My face has definitely changed and looks a LOT younger. I've been told by a former shipmate, who hasn't seen me in almost two years, that I look ten years younger and a bit girly.
All in all I'm putting serious thought into starving again. I've been reviewing some of my old pictures vs how I look now and I have most definitely lost weight. I'm not where I want to be yet, but there's definitely visible change.
About a week ago I came out to one of my coworkers. She is a friend of one of my other coworkers who already knows. He loves to ask questions and has told a few others without my permission, despite denying it. I thought she already knew but it turns out she didn't and was surprised by it. The resulting conversation became super awkward. At one point she asked if I didn't want to talk to her about it anymore because she's a girl. I responded that It's difficult to talk about because it's so awkward. Like going through second puberty to which she laughed and said she'd never want to do that again.
We haven't really spoken since, mostly because she works in the office and I work in the warehouse. Occasionally she'll come by to say hi to others and we'll wave at each other from a distance. I'm usually to busy to stop for lengthy conversations. She offered advice and stuff during that first conversation yet I politely declined. In honesty I would just find it a bit awkward.
Last Friday some of my old shipmates called me up and invited me out for one last night of drinking and partying around town. I found it a bit surprising as I haven't talked to any of them since I left the Navy. I always felt disgraced and ashamed to ever face them again. It may have been all in my head, but that's how I've always felt. Regardless, they invited me and I went.
They were shocked when they saw me which was very self gratifying. They're the ones who made the comment that I look really think, ten years younger and a bit girly. We played a few board games at his ex girlfriends house (not exactly sure why we were there because he hates her). We went out drinking and dancing at a club called Toby Keith's. Not exactly my first choice of clubs but whatever. And as every time I and my shipmates have gone drinking, I was the designated driver. I don't mind to be honest. There's nobody there at the club I'm interested (or to be specific, would be interested in me).
This was the last weekend before my old shipmates changed their home port and permanently moved to a new state. So I figured I didn't have anything to lose by telling them I'm not "in to women" per say. They think I'm gay and were shocked but cool with it I think. They made a few gay jokes and I rolled with it to humor them. I told one of them privately that I'm transitioning genders and he laughed and didn't take me seriously. That's fine I guess. It doesn't even really matter since I'll probably never see them again.
And I think that's about it for this blog entry. My main focus for now is cosmetic changes. I want to get my eyebrows cleaned up and shaped. I also want to start looking into makeup but I have no idea where to start. I DEFINITELY need to work on my voice as I haven't even started yet. I've been procrastinating like you wouldn't believe.
So I finally got around to writing this blog entry. A lot has happened since my last entry and I hope I can remember most of it.
So lets see. I had a Skype conversation with my family back in Austin. This one was far shorter than the last conversation. They were clearly eager to get on with their celebrating and wanted to close Skype ASAP. The entire conversation lasted less than 15 minutes and most of it was camera adjusting. I felt a little hurt by their eagerness to leave.
I was also a bit hurt after learning that mom paid for my sisters plane ticket home, after paying for her college. Before she was going on about how they can't afford to buy me a ticket or offer any sort of help. Afterwards seeing parents shell out tens of thousands of dollars for my sister hurt a bit.
It's nothing new though. They've done this for all sorts of things when I was a kid. They claimed they couldn't afford to send me to the dentist and get braces, yet all other siblings received theirs soon after. When I was homeless, they claimed they're strapped for cash and couldn't do anything for me. Later discovered they bought my brother a new car because they thought his old car was ugly.
Still, it hurts.
Anyways, I finally got my second laser hair removal session completed... finally! It was delayed for almost a month because the laser broke down. The second session stung as expected. So far I haven't seen ANY hair removal results which is concerning. I've been told that I shouldn't expect to see results until the fourth or fifth treatment, but since they're a month apart it's going to take a very long time before going full time.
*edit*
Upon inspection of my stubble, it seems to be a bit spotty. It looks mostly unchanged but there are a few spots where hair is not growing. Nothing significant, but slightly noticeable. I've also been using my home laser hair removal tool after shaving. It's the Silk'n Sensiple but I'm still not convinced it works yet.
Moving on, I'm definitely starting to see physical changes. Definitely an hourglass figure is forming and looks sexy as hell. I'm not skinny but neither am I fat. I'd say a healthy plump with an hourglass figure. I may have to go full time before warm weather sets in because it's getting difficult to hide.
Boobs are still coming in, albeit slowly. They still ache, itch and are super super sensitive. Every time I move my arms I bump into them. Their shape is quite visible when I'm wearing a T-shirt. They aren't fully rounded out yet which is disappointing. Plus they're somewhere between an A and a B. I already bought a few B cup bras, but they don't quite fill out yet. Almost.
Anyways, hair is getting longer. There's so much to learn about hair care. Most important points for me is to use shampoo every other day, conditioner is my friend, and getting a small trim every few months to prevent split ends is important.
Arms are getting fairly skinny. They no longer look muscular but rather a little fat. I still have a bit of a muffin top belly which is annoying. Seems like nothing will make it go away. Legs are still pretty much as they always were. I used to do a LOT of cycling which is why they're so large. They still give me that sexy looking shape underneath jeans, but there's no way I'll be wearing skirts or shorts anytime soon. Shoulders are looking a bit less broad, but there's still significant muscle mass leftover. My face has definitely changed and looks a LOT younger. I've been told by a former shipmate, who hasn't seen me in almost two years, that I look ten years younger and a bit girly.
All in all I'm putting serious thought into starving again. I've been reviewing some of my old pictures vs how I look now and I have most definitely lost weight. I'm not where I want to be yet, but there's definitely visible change.
About a week ago I came out to one of my coworkers. She is a friend of one of my other coworkers who already knows. He loves to ask questions and has told a few others without my permission, despite denying it. I thought she already knew but it turns out she didn't and was surprised by it. The resulting conversation became super awkward. At one point she asked if I didn't want to talk to her about it anymore because she's a girl. I responded that It's difficult to talk about because it's so awkward. Like going through second puberty to which she laughed and said she'd never want to do that again.
We haven't really spoken since, mostly because she works in the office and I work in the warehouse. Occasionally she'll come by to say hi to others and we'll wave at each other from a distance. I'm usually to busy to stop for lengthy conversations. She offered advice and stuff during that first conversation yet I politely declined. In honesty I would just find it a bit awkward.
Last Friday some of my old shipmates called me up and invited me out for one last night of drinking and partying around town. I found it a bit surprising as I haven't talked to any of them since I left the Navy. I always felt disgraced and ashamed to ever face them again. It may have been all in my head, but that's how I've always felt. Regardless, they invited me and I went.
They were shocked when they saw me which was very self gratifying. They're the ones who made the comment that I look really think, ten years younger and a bit girly. We played a few board games at his ex girlfriends house (not exactly sure why we were there because he hates her). We went out drinking and dancing at a club called Toby Keith's. Not exactly my first choice of clubs but whatever. And as every time I and my shipmates have gone drinking, I was the designated driver. I don't mind to be honest. There's nobody there at the club I'm interested (or to be specific, would be interested in me).
This was the last weekend before my old shipmates changed their home port and permanently moved to a new state. So I figured I didn't have anything to lose by telling them I'm not "in to women" per say. They think I'm gay and were shocked but cool with it I think. They made a few gay jokes and I rolled with it to humor them. I told one of them privately that I'm transitioning genders and he laughed and didn't take me seriously. That's fine I guess. It doesn't even really matter since I'll probably never see them again.
And I think that's about it for this blog entry. My main focus for now is cosmetic changes. I want to get my eyebrows cleaned up and shaped. I also want to start looking into makeup but I have no idea where to start. I DEFINITELY need to work on my voice as I haven't even started yet. I've been procrastinating like you wouldn't believe.
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