Tuesday, February 4 2014
So today is my 7th month on HRT and I can most definitely see noticeable changes in my face, my body, my mental and emotional state. All doubt as to whether HRT works is gone. It definitely works. So much fear and doubt in the beginning and it drove me nuts.
But yeah, I have to wear multiple shirts, a hoodie and a sports bra to keep my hourglass figure hidden. Something that's going to become VERY obvious in the future at work when the weather gets warmer. So I've decided to tell my supervisor now and not spring it as a surprise. I wanted to tell him today but he was far too busy with work and said "how about tomorrow?"
So sometime tomorrow I'm going to be telling him that I'm going through the transgender process, what to expect and how coworkers should behave, and most importantly, shouldn't behave towards me. No groping, no "grab-ass'ing", no asking about genitals, no using slurs such as Tranny, and such. I guess the biggest piece of advice for coworkers to treat me is to not make a big deal out of it.
I'm not coming out full time at work nor changing my name yet. I'm not demanding proper pronouns be used either. I'm simply giving my supervisor a heads up on what's coming down the road in a few months. I can't wear all these layers of clothing in the summer time and my figure will become quite obvious.
I honestly have no idea how it's going to go and I'm nervous as hell. My supervisor is a cool guy and I haven't been in trouble or anything at work. My last employee evaluation was nothing but praise for my work ethic and punctuality. I don't think I've ever been late to work and he's even admitted that he doesn't have to keep an eye on me to know that I'm doing my job to the best of my ability. I think you're doing something very right when your supervisor trusts you enough to not feel the need to supervise.
But it could go south and get nasty. I really hope it doesn't but I'm already looking at new job opportunities in case things go sour. At least I can go back to my old temp agency to get another job. I worked very well with them in the past.
Anyways, my health insurance gave me a bunch of endocrinologists numbers and told me to go find one on my own who actually does trans health care. After a week of wasted lunch breaks and dozens of calls, I gave up. Last Saturday I went to my regular trans support group and they were kind enough to give me a couple of numbers to doctors who actually do support trans people. I've got an appointment set up for next Tuesday. The only downside is that they do NOT take insurance of any kind. The initial visit cost has to be out of pocket which is $100.
It doesn't sound like much to the fully employed, but I'm already way far behind on some of my bills. I may not even be able to get my tablet out of pawn, it's already been quite a while. I'm afraid I missed the payment date and it's gone for good. It also means I can't get my pistol out of pawn yet again. I've been keeping up on that one and have been repawning it each month at $20 each month. Still, I'm really far behind on my car insurance bills and I have no idea how to catch up. Maybe a little at a time each month? I don't know. I do know that I won't have savings of any kind for quite a while.
My tax return is looking grim and sparse. Last year I got almost a thousand dollars back. This year is a measly two hundred dollars at best. I don't know what happened but I really REALLY needed that money to lift myself out of debt.
I'm still looking for an extra part time job. I need the money to save up for surgeries, but it will cut into necessary appointments such as laser hair removal and doctors appointments. If the part time job is shitty, I may have to choose between keeping the job or taking care of my needs.
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