Earlier today I took my Algebra final exam and sadly I failed it. Failed horribly with just a 50% grade. I self confidence dropped and I felt so terrible and guilty that I had to fight back tears. I finished up in class, got in my car, drove off and the floodgates burst. I was nearly bawling the whole drive home feeling incredibly stupid and worthless. Fortunately I'm allowed to retake the exam on my laptop and in the privacy of my own home. I scored significantly higher than before but my overall class average is hovering around 78%.
It's a passing grade, but I don't just want passing. "Good enough" isn't good enough for me. In my personal opinion, I believe I have far more to prove than my fellow students. Since I'm transgender, I'm afraid potential employers will see it as a big negative on my application. I want to have grades so high that I could say I graduated at the top of my class. That I'm the top pick from all other graduates. I'm hoping that would outweigh any anti-trans sentiment potential employers may have. In full honesty I have no clue either way.
Anyways, to the point of this blog entry: Electrolysis!!!!!
So for those who don't know, electrolysis is a permanent hair removal process. It works by inserting a thin needle-like probe down into the hair follicle, sending a burst of electricity through it which cauterizes the blood vessel which feeds the hair, and the hair itself is removed via tweezers.
That's basically what goes on. One hair at a time. Each session is for one hour and the technician eliminates as many hairs as they can within that time frame. I've had four sessions so far and results have been remarkable. Both of my cheeks and large portions of my sideburns have been cleared up with minimal regrowth. That's a good sign. Hopefully I won't have to get several dozens of sessions. I probably will, but I hope not.
My last session rendered the left side of my face swollen, red, bumpy and covered in tiny scabs. It's cleared up significantly since then, but there's still a bit of bumpy redness:
And yes, it's time to get my eyebrows waxed again. They're starting to get a little untidy. I'm also not wearing makeup of any kind. I want to, but I can't go out in public wearing it. I tried wearing just concealer to cover my 5 o'clock shadow, but an asshole coworker called me out on it. His mocking cuts pretty deep.
I do get compliments from cis women about the makeup they think I'm wearing (which is none). My eyelashes, lips, fingernails, and eyebrows when they're trimmed and waxed are often cited for compliments and I don't really see it. I do think hair looks great when tied back in a ponytail. It looks horrible when it's down though and I do want to visit a salon sometime.
My face has gotten better, but it still feels scratchy dry, looks red, and is still a little bumpy. It wouldn't be so bad if both sides of my face looks the same. Symmetry.
The pain that comes from this procedure varies greatly. From what the technician said, some areas of the face are far more sensitive than others because of their proximity to major blood vessels. The closer you get to the vertical line down the middle of your face, the more it hurts. Sideburns weren't bad at all, but as she got closer to the middle of my face it hurt more.
All in all, would I recommend the procedure? Yes. It's one hour of pain per week and results are immediate and lasting. In comparison to laser hair removal, I reached seven sessions and still never saw any real results.
One last thing. I set up an ammo can full of nail polish. My old interests meet my new interests. How awesome is that?
:-P
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