Tuesday, May 28, 2013
I've been sticking to the diet since the 24th without break. I feel great, I'm not tired all the time, I'm in a happier mood. I wouldn't say I have more energy but I definitely have a solid goal to work towards and I'm doing the best I can to reach it. It's the first goal in my life that I've ever gave a damn about. So far I've worked out two days in a row which is a start. Nothing major. Just an hour light run around the neighborhood at night (it's cooler at night). It's not a full run but more of a brisk walk followed by a light run and repeat. I don't want to overdo it.
I want to lose about 70 pounds and drop down to 140lbs. I've never been that weight in my entire life and I'm curious if it's even possible.
I don't even want to look at the bathroom scale right now. Not until a full week of workout and diet has passed. I'm still tempted by all sorts of junk food and such. I've never noticed before, but we're bombarded by food ads all day and night. It's everywhere. I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and saw that little mini fridge next to the cashier. Full of monster energy drinks (my long time weakness). I used to drink three or four per day. I had to look away to resist temptation, lol the cashier thought I was just being shy or something.
I spoke with my mom (which btw I haven't come out to anyone yet) about the family oil fields. My family owns a couple of acres of land as well as the mineral rights. Several oil companies have come to us wanting to frack the land and in exchange we keep about 18% of all the profits they make off of it (estimated 5 million dollars per year). I know I know, fracking is bad for the environment and all, but that money could go a very long way to help with transition.
I was hoping that they'd have started drilling by now but they haven't. I'm worried that if I come out to my family about my transition, they'd cut me off, emotionally and financially. I don't care too much emotionally, I was never close to my family. Financially I really REALLY could use that money so I play nice with them even though I generally don't like them. Not hate, that's too strong of a word. Dislike feels like a better word. They gave me such an unnecessarily hard time when I was growing up.
If I do manage to grab a chunk of that oil money, I'm hoping it'll be large. I'd go to school full time, complete my transition including FFS and SRS, pay off all my debts, get a place of my own, and donate what I can to others who are financially struggling with their transition. I'm playing in the lottery now and then. Not going crazy and buying large numbers of tickets, but one or two a week seems like a moderate amount (there's two drawings every week). Cross your fingers for me, mine are exhausted from crossing.
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