I'm really bad at keeping up with these entries. Always putting it off until just before bed and by then I'm usually too tired to write. So today is officially the third week of HRT. Changes so far are thus:
- Increased appetite for salty foods.
- Irritability.
- Laziness.
- Flabbiness where there used to be tight muscle.
- Moments of spaceyness (if that's a word).
- Tiredness with frequent naps in the day.
I'm daydreaming at work a lot less. It's hard to explain. When I'm at work doing some physical task, my brain is off thinking about a movie or tv show, often interjecting myself into the plot as a superhero, a character or whatever (don't judge me, ya'll do it too). I haven't been doing that for over a week now which is strange. I did that all the time when I was in grade school and in the military. Off in my own little world. I guess I don't feel the need to do that anymore.
Other than that, nothing else seems to have changed. I'm not getting emotional. My skin *seems* to be slightly softer, but that could be my imagination. My body weight is staying within 185 to 190 lbs. Not really going up or down, just staying within that area. Many of my tight arm and leg muscles seem to be all flabby and jelly like. Whether that's from the hormones or from lack of muscle building I cannot say. I've been deliberately avoiding lifting heavy things (not an easy task at my job since all I do is move things around).
I want to get this written down as it's still semi fresh in my memory. Yesterday night I had an incredibly vivid dream. It was about getting SRS surgery. I was in the operating room and talking with the doctor. The doctor was going over the procedure and reassuring me that it's a relatively easy process and I've got nothing to worry about. I wasn't worried or anxious at all though. In fact I felt a deep calm about it, almost a relief with some anticipation.
Dreams are dreams and all, but this one seemed VERY real. I didn't know I was dreaming, it just felt so real which took me by surprise when I woke up. It's like I jumped forward in time and was experiencing the future, then jumping back to my bed and my alarm clock. While I still have my doubts as to the effects of the HRT, or even if they're real pills, that dream gave me a piece of mind that I never knew before.
Anyways, it's late, again. Procrastination seems to be the word of the month. I'm going to be looking at my budget to see if I can start electrolysis on my beard soon.
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