So yesterday I finally came out to my roommates... sort of. I have two, one is a female 22 year old and the other is a male 40 something year old. I told the female roommate via text while I was at work. Had to work up the courage to text. My hands were shaking and I had butterflies in my stomach. Super nervous:
Me: Hey umm, I probably need to talk to you about something and it's difficult to come out and say. Not really sure how you and [male roommate] will react to it.
Her: What is it?
Me: I really don't want to freak anyone out. I've been seeing a therapist about transgender issues.
(long awkward silence)
Her: That doesn't freak me out at all! I don't understand it really like I said I'm from a small town but if that's who you are I'm cool with it doesn't change how I see you I still think your great guy!.
Me: I didn't want to say anything because it's nobody else's business, but physical changes are starting to get noticeable.
Me: Three different people this week called me out. "Bro no offense but you kinda look like a girl". Awkward.
Me: I dunno. Physical changes from my prescription are becoming more and more apparent. Figure I might as well say something now instead of it getting super awkward later.
Her: Sorry i was tanning lol. your right it isn't anybody's business but your and its up to you if you tell [male roommate] I won't say anything. I really don't think he will judge you tho he's pretty understanding
Me: Lol cool. I've still got at least another year before anything else changes. My sister won't stop blowing up my phone wanting to hear every little detail.
Her: Atleast the are supportive!
And that's the end of the text conversation with her. After work I went to the grocery store and stocked up on alcohol. I got home before anyone else did and got shit faced early in the day. It was ten after five, after all. She eventually came home with her boyfriend at about the same time the male roommate came home. We all exchanged small talk and all. I told her that after I sent that email I immediately wished I hadn't.
She gave me that pity look and said don't worry about it, don't feel embarrassed (that only made me feel worse). But from there the issue didn't come up again. She doesn't seem to be interested or have any questions. I think it's more like a "You do your thing and I'll do mine" deal.
I tried to tell male roommate but I don't think I got the message through. It's difficult to talk to him about anything. He constantly interrupts and he doesn't seem concerned about what anybody else has to say. I think he sometimes just waits for a pause in a conversation to start talking, sometimes not even waiting for that pause. He tells the same Navy stories over and over which are humorous, but often not related to anything being discussed. Plus he's always drunk and camping out on the living room sofa.
Anyways, I took a self picture with my phone today and was blown away by what I saw. I didn't realize how much has changed until I saw it. I actually look a LOT younger than 31. More like early 20's, maybe teenager. My face is starting to look feminine and youthful which is awesome. I posted that picture on Facebook for family to see (they don't know yet) and they too were taken aback by how young I look, plus how long my hair is getting. They haven't seen me in several years as they all live in Texas and I live in Virginia.
(Pic of HRT Day 66)
Not much else to add except I've readjusted my doses. I'm going back to 200mg of spiro because it's already so close to below 40. It's sitting at 41 at the time of the blood work results. Down from around 500ish. Taking anymore just seems a tad dangerous.
I did increase my E from 4mg a day to 8mg per day. My results from the test were very low. Sitting at 78 when it should be between 120 and 200. A double dose seemed appropriate but I'm worried that I may be overshooting the 200 mark. The increases don't exactly follow the rules of mathematics. 2 plus 2 doesn't always equal 4, metaphorically speaking, in regards to hormone level increases.
Interestingly enough, my facial hair after my E dose increased has slowed significantly. A clean shave now lasts almost the entire week instead of just 18 hours. Which reminds me that I'm planning on starting either laser or electrolysis soon. It's going to be difficult this month because I've already lost one day plus a couple of hours of pay. Holiday plus I left early the week before to get my blood work done.
If I've got any shot in starting this month, I'm going to have to really knuckle down on my budget. I've got to be a lot more frugal.
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